A survivor’s guide to how to get pregnant faster, cope with disappointment and five of the best fertility aids
It occurred to me, as I lay with my legs against the wall and pelvis lifted to better encourage fertilization; ovulation testers scattered liberally over my dressing table; that there had to be an easier way. There is nothing more unappealing than waiting for the ovulation window to be open before having soulless and unsatisfying sex as many times as possible before the window shuts again. Sex became a means to an end, a chore that had to be done to produce an end result. Finding it difficult to conceive can lead to many frustrations for all those involved to say the least.
Reasons You Might Be Finding It Difficult to Conceive And What Could Help
Problems conceiving can take us to a very dark place indeed and according to the NHS Website affect up to 1 in 7 couples. The main problems include:-
- A blockage in the fallopian tubes
- Low sperm count/ sperm not moving
- Not producing eggs
- endometriosis (womb lining growing outside of the womb)
- Pelvic inflammatory disease and PCOS
I was suffering with “Secondary infertility”. Having conceived easily once my ovaries had become a barren wasteland. Almost half of infertility cases fall into this category, a huge 4 million people. Every month I would convince myself that my breasts had swollen, that I tasted metal and that my period was late, so I would rush out to get a pregnancy test only to find that, yet again, I wasn’t pregnant.
So, how do you overcome problems with conceiving and move on? Practically, you can eat a healthy diet, drink less alcohol, stop smoking and exercise more. The NHS offers some great advice and a wide range of fertility treatments to help increase your sperm count, clean the lining of the womb and encourage ovulation as well as the better known IUI and IVF.
7 Easy tips to help overcome mental blocks
The tendency to ask “Why is this happening to me?” is all consuming when we try to conceive and fail. The temptation is to fall down the rabbit hole of self pity, loss and despair. And yet, baby and toddler groups are full of women who once were told that they could not have children until their little miracle came along. I tried every fertility aid in my ever more desperate attempts to get pregnant. Here are some tips to stop you cracking up in the meantime:-
- Be grateful for the good that you have in your life, and use the loving energy you would give to your newborn to other parts or people in your life. Helping others helps put our own problems into perspective.
- Visualise your child with you, talk to them, reassure them and send loving thoughts to them.
- Step away from social media if seeing endless posts of new mother’s happiness or other people’s babies is too much for you to bear.
- Do all of the things you will not be able to do once the baby arrives – travel, play sports, volunteer, go to the theatre.
- Do seek help, it’s better to know what you are facing than to just blindly hope for the best.
- Consider other options such as IVF, surrogacy, fostering or even adoption.
- Invest in and protect your relationship, you are both in it together.
Fertility Aids If You Are Finding It Difficult To Conceive
The market is saturated with products that promise to improve your chances of conception and improve fertility. Here are some of the most popular:-
- Fertility supplements – vitamins to improve sperm flow, improve the health of your reproductive organs and more
- Ovulation Kits – Tell you when you are at your most fertile and most likely to conceive.
- Fertility Calendars – Help to track your most fertile times and explain when you would get a positive pregnancy test.
- Lubricants – Can help sperm move faster and better and match your internal PH balance.
- Old wives tales – Rosemary under the bed, honey and cinnamon, raising your legs and pelvis after ejaculation and holding a newborn.
I was lucky, I was blessed with several more children. However, I will never forget the feeling of despair and loss while I was trying to conceive. Unfortunately, some people never manage to give birth to a healthy child. Although there are alternatives, such as surrogacy, adoption and fostering; coming to terms with not being a natural mother can take years. There is help and counselling available for anyone struggling with infertility.